Mom: “You’re the only teenager that spends their whole day on the internet”
i hate america i’m moving to hawaii
should someone say something
nah just let it be they’ll figure it out
I have a really hot waiter.Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.
wanna know what these all say?
"suck his dick"
Me: “dad am i adopted?”
Dad:no, ur David. why woud anyone name you ‘Adopted’? even if we wanted to, ur name was alredy David when we adopted you